No matter which task I perform, I am relatively safe until I try to move from my wheelchair to another seat [toilet / bed] or back to the wheelchair. Each move of the hands, feet, arms, wheelchair, etc is carefully planned and must be executed exactly to the plan. It is a finely orchestrated dance of the mind and very uncooperative body fighting my arch rival, gravity.
Yep, gravity. Always there, never faltering, constantly pulling on me and sometimes, bringing me down. That is a physical and emotional state. When I do hit the floor, I am unable to get myself back up. Yes, too many people laugh at the commercial of the old woman crying, "Help, I've fallen and can't get up!" I understand her plight. There is NOTHING entertaining about it.
So, as I perform a transfer from wheelchair to toilet last week, my attention waivers for a moment and somehow, the wheelchair slides to the right as I move left. That creates just enough space for gravity to reach up and pull my butt into that space. The panic rushes up through my body and my brain races for a solution. I gather my thoughts and strength, take a deep breath and once more, heave toward the toilet. The wheelchair moves more right and gravity gives my butt another pull. Greater panic rushes through me and I am now at the awful, terrible, frightening, OHHHH NOOOOO moment. Still suspended but past the point of recovery with the knowledge of what will happen next. I make one last feeble, futile attempt to find ANY seating. The gap opens, my arms tremble and gravity pulls me down.
The move is slow and I plop on the floor. The second wave of panic hits harder than the first. Someone left his phone on the desk in another room; 20 million light years away as gravity holds my butt in it's relentless grasp. This means that I will laying on a cold and very hard ceramic tile floor until my wife gets home. The math was easy. It's 12:30 now and my wife MIGHT be home by 6:00.
She did arrive at 5:30. I'll take ANY blessing at that point. No, I won't be forgetting my phone again and I will try to be more careful. Sir Isaac Newton, you can warm up my cold butt!
Yep, gravity. Always there, never faltering, constantly pulling on me and sometimes, bringing me down. That is a physical and emotional state. When I do hit the floor, I am unable to get myself back up. Yes, too many people laugh at the commercial of the old woman crying, "Help, I've fallen and can't get up!" I understand her plight. There is NOTHING entertaining about it.
So, as I perform a transfer from wheelchair to toilet last week, my attention waivers for a moment and somehow, the wheelchair slides to the right as I move left. That creates just enough space for gravity to reach up and pull my butt into that space. The panic rushes up through my body and my brain races for a solution. I gather my thoughts and strength, take a deep breath and once more, heave toward the toilet. The wheelchair moves more right and gravity gives my butt another pull. Greater panic rushes through me and I am now at the awful, terrible, frightening, OHHHH NOOOOO moment. Still suspended but past the point of recovery with the knowledge of what will happen next. I make one last feeble, futile attempt to find ANY seating. The gap opens, my arms tremble and gravity pulls me down.
The move is slow and I plop on the floor. The second wave of panic hits harder than the first. Someone left his phone on the desk in another room; 20 million light years away as gravity holds my butt in it's relentless grasp. This means that I will laying on a cold and very hard ceramic tile floor until my wife gets home. The math was easy. It's 12:30 now and my wife MIGHT be home by 6:00.
She did arrive at 5:30. I'll take ANY blessing at that point. No, I won't be forgetting my phone again and I will try to be more careful. Sir Isaac Newton, you can warm up my cold butt!
RSS Feed
