My brother recently stopped by to visit. As we discussed some of my recent health adventures / challenges, he noted that while on the phone during a particularly difficult time, he said; 'I never heard you sound like that before'.
The sound he is referring to was the sound of defeat in my voice. I had never heard me sound like that, either. My success in adjusting to my disability has always been based on the theory that hard work = gains. Recently, that theory, the success formula, did not apply. Infections and their consequences don't fit my formula. After you try everything with all your effort and none of it works, what's left? I guess I hit the wall [felt like the wall hit me] and I waived the white flag in surrender.
Fortunately, that time has passed and my success formula is valid again. I did surrender but I didn't give up. It's a fine line with lots of gray area between them. You never know for sure until you are there. I hope I can steer clear of that place..........I don't want to sound like that again........
The sound he is referring to was the sound of defeat in my voice. I had never heard me sound like that, either. My success in adjusting to my disability has always been based on the theory that hard work = gains. Recently, that theory, the success formula, did not apply. Infections and their consequences don't fit my formula. After you try everything with all your effort and none of it works, what's left? I guess I hit the wall [felt like the wall hit me] and I waived the white flag in surrender.
Fortunately, that time has passed and my success formula is valid again. I did surrender but I didn't give up. It's a fine line with lots of gray area between them. You never know for sure until you are there. I hope I can steer clear of that place..........I don't want to sound like that again........
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